We are cooking here, not baking
Photo by Odiseo Castrejon on Unsplash
Whenever I experience synchronicities I pay attention. I have been a part of several conversations very recently around the many tools folks have in their toolbox for wellness and that it can be hard and sometimes overwhelming getting to them all. What to do if the daily breath work practice gets missed or if we choose not to go to the gym even when we know how damn good it makes our body feel, or what if we don’t engage in our dancing or journal practice everyday?
I can so relate. I have been learning from self-development thought leaders for a couple of decades now. I have a plethora of wonderful ideas, practices, tools and I too wonder when is it all too much. When does the “help” begin to buckle our knees? If I choose on purpose not to journal for days, weeks, or longer will the sky really fall in on me? Will my clarity and connection to the whispers of my heart disappear instantly with the abandoned practice? What is the point in learning new ways to meet my own trauma, shadow, and struggles if I am not keeping up with all that I have learned and committed to before this?
And then in comes a teacher* who says just exactly what I need to hear. “We are cooking, not baking.” When we bake we need EXACT measurements. We really cannot deviate too far without risking the cake or bread. But when we are cooking we can omit this in favour of that, add a little extra of this spice, or make it a little less spicy depending on the day, who is eating with us, and what our needs are. And so it is for our daily practices.
It is necessary to have many ingredients (tools, practices, routines) available not in an effort to do it all. Instead we are able to self-prescribe the current medicine needed to support whatever it is that is present for us each day. We must make our daily routines - those things we do to connect with ourselves inwardly so that we can move outwardly into our world with clarity, skill, love, and intention - our own. We do this by taking whatever will serve us that day and leaving the rest. No guilt required.
We try something and then evaluate at the end of the day as to whether it added the value and support needed. If it did, we might choose to repeat it the next day or not. We are self-selecting. We are getting to know ourselves and our needs and curating our morning routines (or whenever you engage in these kinds of practices) to align with what is supporting us right now. That could be different tomorrow or you may happen onto a practice that you love committing to for years.
Just like I teach in my yoga classes, there is no right or wrong, good or bad. There are simply choices and you get to choose whatever you need on any given day. If the breath-work ebbs in favour of a dance practice, celebrate that. Check in with the seasons as well. Dancing in the morning feels aligned at this time of year but in the middle of February perhaps doing your journal pages while sitting on a heating pad or by the fire is more supportive and so the dancing might take a back burner. Or not.
Sometimes I take a little of this and add it to my other tried and true practices. An example is my gratitude list that is embedded in my Morning Pages. Julia Cameron (creator of Morning Pages) does not do it this way. And I do. Perfect. To have another journal just for gratitudes does not work for me and yet I love to be intentional about a gratitude practice so this is the way I have found works for me. Other times in my life, my only journal practice was in the form a a daily gratitude journal. That worked beautifully then. It has evolved to this now. Nothing has gone wrong.
Sometimes we want our food spicy and sometimes we need it super mild. Same same with all of our beautiful wellness tools. Take what serves. Make it yours. Leave the rest. I believe this is the best recipe for a peaceful and delicious life. Cook, don’t bake.
*I cannot for the life of me remember who the teacher was that said this. If you know please let me know so I can properly give credit!